Are Emotions Hijacking Your Leadership?
The other day I ran across a recent study from the American Psychological Association that talked about how easily people who wear their emotions on their sleeves are significantly more likely to fall victim to manipulation and persuasion tactics. For practice owners and leaders, that's a massive vulnerability and could cost you. Big time.
Think about it: when your emotions are calling the shots, you're basically handing over the keys to your practice to anyone who knows which buttons to push. A leader who's quick to take offense isn't strategizing; they're just reacting. And when that happens, someone else is pulling the strings.
Now, I'm not a leadership coach, but I've been around the block enough times to know that leadership isn't about knee-jerk reactions. It's about staying cool as a cucumber when curveballs your way. It's about making thoughtful choices, not letting your feelings run the show. And it does not have to be a curveball. It could just be something that sounds pretty awesome. An advantage plan managed to get my mother-in law on the phone the other day and almost had her take their offer before I heard it and stepped in. My mother-in-law was absolutely convinced that she was doing the right thing.
So, let's break down why emotional thinking can make you a prime target for manipulation. And don’t get me wrong, emotions are a good thing, and the work you do is full of emotional stimulation. The key is that we do not always stop to think if we are acting emotionally.
Predictability = Controllability
If people know what sets you off, they don't need to outsmart you – they just need to provoke you. It's like having a big red button labeled "PUSH HERE TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR ME." Leaders who react impulsively become easy targets. Those who stay composed keep control in their hands.
Fighting Fires = Losing Ground
When you're busy responding to the external forces impacting your practice, you're not leading – you're reacting. Everything that drags you into “conflict” takes you away from what really matters. The best leaders don't get caught up in the drama. They focus on what truly matters – like improving patient outcomes or streamlining processes.
Here's the truth: resilient leaders earn respect. Defensive leaders lose it. Acting upset at every challenge doesn't make you look strong; it exposes your insecurities. And once people smell insecurity, they know exactly how to exploit it. Strong leaders don't need constant validation--they stand firm in their decisions and don't let distractions undermine their authority.
When emotions take the wheel, strategy goes out the window. Leaders who react impulsively instead of intentionally lose the trust of their team faster than you can say "denied claim." The best leaders don't let offense cloud their thinking. They pause, assess, and act based on what strengthens their leadership – not what soothes their ego in the moment.
A leader who responds emotionally creates an atmosphere more tense than a waiting room during flu season. When your team feels like they're walking on eggshells, they stop offering ideas, sharing concerns, and pushing for better results. Leadership is built on trust, and trust requires steadiness. If people can't rely on you to stay composed, they won't rely on you at all.
Now, here's where it gets tricky. Some people with high emotional intelligence (EI) might think they're immune to manipulation. But a high EI can be a both a blessing and a curse. While it helps you read the room and connect with your team, it also can become a tool for manipulation.
Manipulative people often hide behind a mask of empathy and concern. They might seem approachable, ask about your personal life, and appear invested in your well-being. But underneath, it's all about control. They're gathering intel to use against you later or creating a false sense of intimacy to keep you in line.
These emotional puppeteers are masters at controlling team dynamics. They might shift from warm and supportive to cold and distant faster than a patient's mood during a root canal. By controlling access to their approval, they create a power imbalance that keeps everyone on edge.
So, how do you spot the difference between authentic interactions and emotional exploitation? Here are some red flags:
If your emotions are being used to serve someone else's agenda, that's manipulation.
If someone’s approval feels conditional or manipulative, it's time to take a step back and reassess.
If something seems to solve all your challenges, remember that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Remember, a leader ruled by emotion is a leader waiting to be controlled. The best leaders don't ignore feelings, but they are attuned to them and don’t let feelings dictate their decisions. They manage their emotions, focus on what truly matters, and choose strategy over impulse. In our world of practice management, where the stakes are high, emotions are high and the challenges are constant, we can't afford to be led by our emotions. We need to be the steady hand guiding our teams through the storm and not allow ourselves to be manipulated into a bad decision.
So, next time you feel that emotional trigger getting pulled, take a deep breath. Step back. Ask yourself: "Am I reacting, or am I leading?" Because in the end, it's not about how we feel – it's about how we lead. And that, my friends, is the key to building a practice that thrives, no matter what curveballs come our way.